You wear makeup but still look like
a
vampire, my sister thats what we
call Adding
salt to an injury
___________________________
• Some girls know you are broke,
yet they
will get pregnant and tell you they
have
good news for you.. whats good
about the
news
___________________________
• My sister if your baby knows how
many
old men sucked those breast, she'd
prefer
porridge
__________________________
• Women who can Cook can be so
dramatic,
u find her wearing an Apron just
to boil
water
__________________________
___________________________
• This black lipstick is not for every
lady,
some of u end up looking like dogs
or
traditional healers
__________________________
• One Ibadan girl has been singing
since
morning "Shawa kote see kote"
Instead of
"Yawa go dey see gobe"
___________________________
• Something bothers me, those
girls who go
to night clubs wearing crop Tops
and
leggings, were do they put their
money?
Ahbi dem no get money??
________________________
• So u deleted ur bibble App to
download
Snapchat, I hope u also download
a filter
that can reduce the heat
temperature inside
Hell??
• Sister you are not Rihanna, wear
bra and
stop showing us that breast that
are
pointing at your shoes
_________________________
• Girl: Dad, whats better? To pass
or to fail?
Dad: To pass obviously!
Girl: oh my God! You'll be proud of
me cos I
passed my pregnancy text
________________________
• My mom asked my girlfriend if
she can
Cook, Then she smiled and replied,
" Mummy
I cooked the tea we drunk at
home this
morning"
my mum is still looking for where
to faint
cos our dog fainted where she
suppose to
faint
_________________________
• 9ja armed robbers just enter
area..;
Everybody kneel down lie! bring
out all your
money!!
Me: Oga abeg mercy for me, I no
hol money
abeg nah..
Robbers: Fool! oya stand up! go
and make
Eba for us osiso! Ijiet
__________________________
• U saw a 7 year old girl singing
"My money,
my body na ur own baby"
when I was her age I was singing "
My head
my shoulders, my kneel my toes,
they all
belongs to Jesus"
________________________
• Nawao! one plastic of garri is
now N1,200
& u ask all these garri sellers they
will say
cassava is scarce.. Please where is
Tekno, he
told us he have big cassava,,
coman donate
ur cassava to ur nation
__________________________
• That moment when you are
having trust
issue and then your girlfriend
updates her
status "I love God"
then your mind will now start
telling you "It
can't be God in heaven, it could be
Godstime
or Godswill or probably
Godspower______
___________________
• I have 2thousand people
following me
here in Facebook when I don't
even know
where am going
_________________________
• My problem now is this Airtel
people that
have been sending my grand
mother some
beauty tips.. please for what?
__________________________
• If you are single be fully single
not when
you are single your private part
will be
dating
_________________________
• This my neighbor always tag me
in her
baby's pics everyday thats why I
keep
wondering if am raising her child
with my
data bundle
_______________________
• That awkward moment when you
finished
smoking weed and decided to iron
all ur
cloths, when you are through you
realised u
have been ironing without turning
on the
switch.. ur villlage witches will just
whisper
in ur hear 'Is our work
o"_____________
______________
• Using Your Boyfriend's Picture As
D.p
Doesn't Scare Us.
No Be Today We Begin Dey Enter
gates wey
dem Write
"Beware Of Dogs"
________________________
• Girls are always complaining
there are no
nice guys. There are nice guys
everywhere.
The problem is that your eyelashes
are too
much.
Don't insult me ooo, I'm not a
small boy
_________________________
• Guys that turn back to look at
yansh of
every girl that passes
The day you will turn to salt is
coming
I have said my own
________________________
• If you are short, stop celebrating
your
birthday
You are not growing up...
Don't insult me I'm not your mate
_______________________
• I bought Bag of rice for #20,000
and you
are expecting me not to use the
sack bag to
sew cloth?
Are you sure you are okay???
_______________________
• Stealing meat from okro soup is
very
stressful
You steal one meat and okro will
draw a
perpendicular line from the
kitchen to the
bedroom
Mtchewww
_______________________
____________________
•When you are 30+ you will never
see a
single person
You have to destroy a relationship
to be in a
relationship
Thank me later
______________________
•My Sister Big Bumbum with ugly
face is like
Public Holiday on a Saturday
It's a Waste
Wisdom will not kill me
______________________
•Don't wear white on someone
else's
wedding, it's not your time to
shine
Don't insult me, I'm not feeling
fine
_________________________
• There are some people on your
friend list
that look at your timeline all the
time, but
they don't really like you, so they
never
comment on or like any of your
posts, but
they can't delete you cos they
want to know
what you are doing
The level of Witchcraft in Nigeria
will kill
somebody one day
_________________________
• So the only thing Satan can do
to the
naked eve is only to convince her
to eat the
forbidden fruit.. that nigger must
be a gay
_________________________
• No one is more respectful than a
person
who comes to borrow money from
you.. he
can even greet ur dog "Hello
bingo how are
you"
_______________________
• Just because of one fine osher
girl thats
why u give all ur money in the
offering box,
now u are looking for a lift..
bro, can't u see the devil is using
ur sense to
dance Wo! by Olamide
___________________
• You are 45yrs old and you still
dance and
shout when Nepa bring light..
pls bro, come my side we have
psycatric
hospital
_____________________
• Beyonce just sent me a friend
request, but
her location is showing me
Ajegunle, Nigeria
Ahbi has beyoncy relocated?
______________________
• A wise man once said:
"The best way to fall in a
relationship is to
fall with parachute"
_______________________
• That moment when you buy
iPhone 7 for
200k and it has Nokia Ringing
tune
_________________
• Where are those slay queens that
lost their
virginity cos of iPhone 7.. now
iPhone 8 is
out, hope u ready to loose ur
destiny?
_________________
• You bought iPhone 7 this
morning and in
the evening it fell into water..
Don't worry
too much, just take the earphone
and hang
your self
___________________
• My fear for weed started when I
saw my
friend's father dabbing for
Osadebe song
_________________
• So this guy has refused to go
home simply
because he posted on Facebook;
"A father that is not like Dangote,
is that one
a father" and his father liked it
___________________
• A Yoruba man will still count
money from
ATM machine
______________________
• That moment when you're drunk
and
want to jump across a gutter not
knowing
you are about to jump off third
mainland
bridge.
Posts
